At One Point in My Life I was only 4 years old when I felt my life had changed. Just when you think things can’t get any worse, they do. I don’t remember much, but from what I do remember, was when she told me she would always have me in her heart, and that she would come back soon. My mom walked out the door with her suitcase and tears on her face. While me and my sister who was only 6 years old, stared at her wondering why?
It hurt me to see my sister cry. I remember her telling me, “I am scared, I want mommy to come back.” She had always been sensitive, even though she was the oldest one it seem like I was. I don’t really like to cry and be weak. My mom was a strong woman. I always wanted to be like her. She is like a beautiful rose. I saw all this as a big scary rollercoaster. I was scared because I had never been alone. My mom had always been there for me when I needed her.
Tears kept running down my face. As my sister held me tight I started thinking why my mom left. While she was hugging me I thought about the night I saw my mom arguing with my dad. He had black hair and black eyes. He wasn’t short nor tall. To me he was the best, until that night. They were talking about how there wasn’t enough money and I remember my dad getting mad. I couldn’t stand being around him. I hated him for all the things he did to my mom. He screamed at her like if my mom was his worst enemy. The fight sounded like if a million people were screaming at me all at once. He told her, “ I can’t be with you guys anymore!” I heard my mom crying.
I heard my grandma talking to me, but I wasn’t paying attention to her. She told me, “Jocelyn everything is going to be ok, you have to be strong baby.” I stopped thinking what I had seen that night and went back to reality. I didn’t know when my mom was going to come back. It felt like part of my heart had left with reasons that I didn’t even understand. My grandma’s hands were comforting me as she explained where my mom went, but it made sense. She talked about how my mom and dad fought all the time, and how there love came to an end.
It felt like an eternity since she had left. It had only been hours since she walked out the door. I was feeling something that couldn’t be explained. I tried to be as strong as I could. Hoping time would pass by fast. All I could do is just pray. Every night I prayed and told God, “Please help my mom get money fast, so she would be back soon.” I wished all this was just a nightmare, but it wasn’t. I realized all my mom was doing was for us. Everything happens for a reason. By her leaving made me grow up even faster. I saw the reality of life. It opened my eyes, and even though I was only four years old I saw how hard life could be.
