“Pass me the bottle that’s on the table Emma!” Carmen screamed, while she was laying on the kitchen floor completely drunk. My mom had long black straight hair and big black eyes, but my hair was short and I didn’t have big black eyes like her, mine were dark brown just like my dads. She was wearing a black skirt and a pink blouse. Her whole life she has been thin and tall.
“Mommy stop drinking,” I told her with a soft voice. “Leave me alone, and pass me the bottle that’s on the table. You know I hate repeating myself Emma!” I tried convincing her to get up but a bunch of mean words came at me and that’s all I got. I walked to the room, the whole house was always so dark because of those dark green curtains my mom put up in the living room. Green was her favorite color and she said she loved the way the curtains looked. But I hated them. She should have put pink ones so the house would look lighter, like a princess house.
I laid down on the small bed as I hugged my bear really close to my chest. He was brown and really soft and I loved hugging him. His hugs always comforted me. Crissy was the only one who always listened to me without screaming at me or telling me mean things. I named him Crissy because Christopher was my dad's name and he bought me that teddy bear on my sixth birthday. I remember the three of us celebrating my birthday at the house. They bought me a small cake with a lot of strawberries around the edges of it. Strawberries have always been my favorite fruit.
“I am going out, start cleaning the mess that’s on the table!” I heard the door slam as I opened my eyes from my memories. I took a deep breath with water constantly coming out of my eyes. I walked to the kitchen and threw away millions of bottles that were on the table in the trash. Then I started washing the dishes, I stood on a little stool so I could reach. There weren’t a lot of them to wash, but If I didn’t wash them, mommy wouldn’t either. After I was done washing the dishes, I got the trash and took it outside.
The streets looked very dark and lonely. The moon was big and bright, but there was something that caught my eyes, a big bright star. I always thought that the bigger star was my dad taking care of me. After a while, I had finally finished cleaning, and I was really exhausted. I still wanted to play with my Barbies, at least to stop thinking where she could be or when she was going to be back. I sat on the bed playing with the Barbie’s hair. I didn’t have a lot of them, I only had three and a baby barbie. Although I did have a lot of Barbie dresses.
I always dreamed of having different types of dresses and of different colors just like the ones my Barbies had. After a while, I went to sleep wishing that maybe someday this would all be over and that wherever she was, daddy was taking good care of her. “Get up! Move Emma!” I opened my eyes. It was my mommy with some old guy. He was wearing a black shirt with some jeans. His hair was black and he had a mole on top of his lip. He looked as hairy as King Kong. “Didn’t you hear your mother,Move!,” they both laughed and I got up and I ran to the kitchen with Crissy in my hand, confused about who that guy could be. We lived in a one bedroom apartment, so I could hear everything that was happening in the room.
I was sitting on the kitchen floor. The kitchen had a fresh smell because I had clean it earlier. All I kept doing was asking myself questions. Why couldn’t this be over? Why did my dad die? Everything was so good until that day. Everything turned into hell for me after his death. Mommy cried and cried for days. Now all she does is drink to hide her pain. I missed my daddy sooo much. If only daddy and mommy had not gotten into that fight, maybe daddy would have driven more carefully and not had that car accident only because of his anger. As my small body was rocking back and forward on the kitchen floor I was covering my ears with my hands and Crissy was laying next to me. My eyes were squeezed together. I didn’t want to open them because I was frightened.
All of the sudden, I felt a cold hand go down my spine and aggressively pulled my body up and turned it around. I opened my eyes and saw the man who came home with my mommy and who made me and Crissy get out of the room.“Let me go, Let me go!” I said desperately. “Mommy help me!” I screamed while he held my hands so tight that I felt like if my blood had stopped. Everything seemed like a nightmare. He had a vicious look. His eyes were huge, all he was doing was staring at my small body.
I struggled to get out of his arms and I screamed for help but my mom was so drunk she didn’t even hear me. He covered my mouth with one of his big hands while the other was around my waist. He touched my body all over and I felt so weak, I couldn’t even move. I felt a knot in my throat and time passed by so slowly. I didn’t know what I could do to get away from him. My only hope was for Carmen to wake up and help her daughter.
He got distracted because he heard a noise coming from the room as he turned to look to see what it was. I took that chance to run towards the door, I crawled desperately then got up and started running as fast as a could. But I guess it wasn’t fast enough for grownups because he grabbed me with his big hands and told me, “Where the hell do you think your going?!” He pulled my pink with white flowers shirt and hit me in my right eye. I felt it so swollen.
I closed my eyes and wished my mommy would someday realize that drinking wasn’t going to bring daddy back to life and that she should of taken more care of me. I wanted her to defend me and take the man away from me. I wanted to feel that she actually loved me just like before. I wanted to hear three words coming out of her mouth. “I love you.” Those are the only words I was dying to hear. As I was thinking of all those things I suddenly saw the mans hands push my chest so hard that it felt like if a tornado had made my whole body fly.
I fell back and hit my head on the corner of the glass table, which went right through my head. Now I was finally going to be with daddy, but I was still sad because even though mommy didn’t take care of me, I loved her with all my heart but one day daddy and me would see her in heaven. After that whole accident mommy had finally realized that alcohol wasn’t going to help her in anything it actually was hurting her. My daddy and I were watching her and taking good care of her all the way up in heaven.
She finally went to rehab and looked for help. I am so proud of her even though I did wish we had a better life together, but I am really happy she’s progressed and hopefully she takes good care of my little brother. He is not going to have a father, but I am sure mom is going to love him more than anything in this world.
